The Dare
by Insane Rice of the Cosmos
Summary: Megatron is back, so naturaly, there is a party. Yes, a party. Party means drinking, drinking leads to dares, and dares lead to strange, previously unknown talents. Rated T just to be safe.
1. The Dare

The Dare AKA A Silly Song with Starscream

I have NO IDEA what Transformers act like when drunk on High Grade (I think it's called), so don't hurt me if I get it wrong. Purely from observation, you know, reading other's stories.

Ok, this is either pure genius or complete crap. I don't know. And I have THE WORST CASE OF WRITER'S BLOCK. EVER.

Even my imagination can't break through it. That's saying a lot. It's like a high speed drill or something, my imagination. This is set in between my two stories. Meg's is indeed back, so the Decepticons celebrate. By drinking. Yeah. Anyway, Shift decides to introduce them to a song by talking veggies, so she might shut them up. Chaos ensues. Read to find out how. And ewwww… some StarscremXShift. Grooooooss.

Shift:….Ew. –looks ill-

Quakeshot: Shall I beat the slag out of Starscream for this? –canons power up-

Starscream: Meep.

Me: By all means. So, without further crap, here's the story I came up with.

-

"Ok, ok! How's this? I dare you to…" The rest of the sentence was drowned out by loud, raucous laughter.

The Decepticons were celebrating the revival of Megatron the only way they knew how. A drinking contest. Yeah.

-

"Honestly! Those idiots don't know how to mute it!" A groaning and irritable Shift snarled. Turret looked up dozily. She hadn't been invited to the party, so she was bunking with Quakeshot and Shift for a while. "'Cade's having fun. Without me." She said sadly. Quakeshot was barely getting up, and hearing Shift's complaints, she said in a tired voice, "Tell Volt and GH to do something about it. Hopefully, they'll shut them up a bit." She rolled over and fell into recharge yet again.

"That's it. I'm going to take matters into my own hands." Shift growled, standing up. She was already plotting something…humorous for the femmes, humiliating for the mechs involved.

-

Barricade had instigated a game of Truth or Dare. Not a wise choice when it was a newly rebuilt Megatron, Starcream, a staggering Frenzy and the two resident Pranksters, Voltgear and GH he was playing with. "I dare you to call Optimus Prime a hard-afted BASTAD!" shrieked Starscream, speech slurred and swaying. "Right NOW!" He was pointing at Megatron, who looked ready to empty his fuel tank at anytime. "You're on, SCREAMER!" he yelled, swaying as well.

As an irritable Shift walked into the room/ airplane hanger, she was greeted by whoops and catcalls from the mechs. Punching the nearest mech in the face, which so happened to be Voltgear, she snarled in such a way that even Megatron winced, "Keep it down, you lot! Some of us are in recharge!" Starscream then did something that would have signed his death sentence under normal circumstances.

He wrapped an arm around the femme's waist and grinned lopsidedly at her furious face. "Aw, common, don't be so stuck up." He said, laughing. "How about you show me a good time, eh?"

GH wasn't drunk enough to not see the warning signs around Shift. Her hands turning to fists, her furious expression, and the sound of her indignant growls from deep in her vocal processor were all evident. If they were lucky, they would find the Seeker's parts lying scattered from here to the Gobi desert.

He wasn't expecting Shift to suddenly smile in a sweet, (dare he say charming?) manner. But from past experiences, he could see an evil plan coming.

"Sure thing, hot stuff." She giggled in the most un-Shift like way. "But I dare you to…" she whispered something into the mech's audios. He was nodding and smiling. "Alright. But why do 'Cade and Megs have to do it too?" he asked, cocking his head at her.

Shift smiled an evil smile at the oblivious Seeker. "You'll see. Voltgear! Show them the song you found on the internet with Frenzy. Feel free to be a coordinator for that performance.. And get off me, you idiot!" she shoved the grinning Seeker away from her.

Frenzy was giggling like crazy. "Ohyou'lllikethesongStarscreamI'msureofit!" he squealed, cackling on his back.

-

Floodlight was asleep in Bee's arms. It was about time for the youngling's recharge time, and Bee was only too happy to sparksit. Stretched out on a hill, he looked down at the city lights.

He had no idea why, but he felt a strange connection between the youngling and himself. Ironhide was off somewhere, Ratchet had watched Floodlight the whole day, the Twins were excelling their street racing career, and Optimus had gone somewhere by himself. The Autobot leader had rather quiet as of late, and it worried Bee. But even he knew he could take care of himself.

Suddenly, he heard giggling. Bee looked up, and saw Frenzy, laughing and wearing what appeared to be what looked like what the humans called a sombrero. "HereAutoscumferyou!" he yelled, handing him a datapad, before staggering away, laughing at some unheard joke.

Bee looked at the datapad, slightly confused.

Dear Autobot scum,

You are invited to a private performance at the Decepticon HQ. Feel free to bring recording devices. Tommorow night at 9 'o clock.

-Shift

Floodlight unshuttered his optics slightly. "Beeeeee…" he said tiredly. "What was that?" "Nothing, Flood. Go back to sleep." Said the spy soothingly. Floodlight shuttered his optics again, only too happy to comply.

Bee sighed. This was something he needed to tell the others about.

-

Uh oh. What's Shift planning? Gah, my writer's block is still terrible…I'll put it up in the next chap. The summery should be some clue. XD


	2. A Star is Born

Yes, I got over my stupid Writer's Block, and here's the new chap for 'The Dare', where Starscream finds his voice…literally, Frenzy develops a hatred for feathers, and the Autobots learn that the Decepticons would make for great, but lazy pirates.

Thanks to all reviewers! Reviews are like candy to me. SO THANK YOU ALL! 8D

I'm not quite sure who the upcoming song belongs to…But I know it ain't me. XD Also, I don't own Transformers. I'm too poor.

* * *

"I say it's a trap." Ironhide shook his head.

"Oh, come on, 'Hide. Lighten up!" Sides said, laughing. "I think, judging by Frenzy's expression and attire, they're all…how do the humans say? 'Soused', I think." "You're right, bro." said Sunny.

"Regardless, we should be careful." Ratchet said, agreeing with Ironhide, and then turning to their leader. "What say you, Optimus?"

The mech was silent for a moment, then said, "We go. Bee's been begging me to see what the Decepticons are up to, and frankly, we're friends with at least two of them…" he nodded at 'Hide and Ratchet, who sweatdropped, "So it seems safe enough…"

"Flood come too?"

Optimus looked down. The white sparkling sat at his feet, looking up in curiosity.

"Come on, Optimus. He really wants to go too!" Bee joined in the pleading. "I'll look after him, promise!"

The older mech sighed. Flood was giving him the watery optics act. "Alright you both can go…but only if Bee tells me how Floodlight learned of the watery optics technique."

At this, the spy sweatdropped as well. "Erm…"

-

"Ah, so you came. I do hope you brought video recording devices." The grey and red Mazda RX8 led them inside the hanger that would be their theater.

Transforming, she motioned to some large couches, where Quakeshot sat with Turret on her lap. "Hello, Ironhide." She said, smiling as Turret spotted Floodlight. "Flood!" she squealed, waving. The youngling waved back, smiling at his friend. Ironhide seated himself next to the femme. "Hey Quakeshot. Hello Turret." He said, tickling the small femme.

After they got seated, strange music sounded. Sounded like an accordion playing. Barricade, wearing what appeared to a pirate's hat and an eye patch over one optic, stalked out on the stage. He then announced in an obnoxious British accent, "And now it's time for a Silly Song with Starscream, where Starscream sings a silly song. Joining him tonight, are Captain Megatron and Voltgear, who together make up the infamous band of scalawags, The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything."

The twins looked at each other, almost bursting out with laughter. They had heard this song before, and if Starscream and co were singing it, this was going to be highly amusing.

-

The curtain rose, revealing an elaborate set that looked like the deck of a pirate ship. Starscream, who was wearing a bandana and a lopsided grin, was sprawled out on an armchair, Megatron and Voltgear, who both wore Transformer sized hats that greatly resembled Captain Jack Sparrow's, were occupying a couch, and strangely enough, a bean bag chair.

-

They broke out into a lusty and well known shanty,

"_We are the Pirates who don't do anything,_

_We just stay at home, and lie around,_

_And if you ask us to do anything,_

_We'll just tell you we don't do anything!"_

Voltgear then sang out

"_Well, I've never been to Greenland and I've never been to Denver_

_and I've never buried treasure in St. Louis or St. Paul,_

_And I've never been to Moscow and I've never been to Tampa,_

_And I've never been to Boston in the fall!_

_Cuz we're the pirates who don't do anything,_

_We just stay at home, and lie around,_

_And if you ask us to do anything,_

_We'll just tell you we don't do anything!"_

_Megatron sang out,_

"_And I never hoist the mainstay and I never swab the poop deck, _

_and I never veered to starboard cuz I never sailed at all_

_and I never walked the gangplank,_

_and I never owned a parroooooot…"_

Barricade, who was standing off to the side, kicked Frenzy, who looked as though he'd been dipped in a vat of glue and parrot feathers, a bit too hard and sent him flying over the audience, yelling human and Cybetronian curses at his partner as Megatron finished his verse,

"_And I've never been to Boston in the fall!"_

"_Cuz we're the Pirates who don't do anything,_

_we just stay at home, and lie around,_

_and if you ask us to do anything, we'll just tell you,_

_We don't do anything!"_

_Finally, it was Starscream's turn,_

"_Well, I've never plucked a rooster and I'm not too good at ping- pong,_

_and I've never thrown my mashed potatoes up against the wall,_

_and I've never kissed a chipmunk and I've never gotten head lice, _

_and I've never been to Boston in the fall!"_

As Megatron and Voltgear began a rehearsed argument, Ratchet looked at Shift. There was a smug smile on the femme's face. The medic concluded that she had something to do with this…performance. Ironhide's expression was hard to read. It looked somewhere between in pain and slight disgust. Bee, who was holding a giggling Floodlight, exchanged a glance with a smirking Optimus. The twins were in hysterics. They had actually fallen out of their seats, they were laughing so hard.

As Megatron chased Voltgear towards the 'plank', Starscream sang out,

_And I've never licked a sparkplug and I've never sniffed a stinkbug,_

_And I've never painted daisies on a big red rubber ball,_

_And I've never bathed in yogurt,_

_And I don't look good in leggings…"_

_All three of them sang the line,_

"_And we've never been to Boston in the fall!"_

There was loud cheering and yelling from the twins, who appeared to be demanding an encore, while Optimus, who was giving new meaning to the term, 'lol', Bee, Floodlight, a confused Ironghide and an even more puzzled Ratchet applauded.

-

"See, Sunny? I told you it was a good idea to bring the video camera!"

"Good thinking, Sides. To Youtube?

"To Youtube!"

"Oh man, I HAVE to show that to Sam." Bee said, laughing uproariously.

Ironhide and Ratchet still had no idea what was going on. And Optimus?

He was smirking and laughing while in recharge that night.

* * *

Ok, what do you think? Good? Bad? Horrible? Worth mentioning? TELL ME! 


	3. Why's the Rum gone!

Yes, people who have been reading 'The Dare', there are more chapters, in which the cast of that play wake up with killer hangovers, Starscream is indeed a star…on Youtube, and the performers get fan mail and mysterious calls from someone who keeps laughing at them over the phone.

Also, I've been neglecting my other story, 'End of an Era'. Feel free to read it when you get the chance.

-

"Ugh…" Megatron rubbed his head and groaned. It felt like his brother's alt mode had run him over like a fleshy human.

He suddenly realized he was sprawled out on a couch. Why wasn't he in his recharge bed? And why was he wearing this ridiculous hat? Another loud groan sounded from below him. It was coming from under the couch.

Looking down, he saw an irritable Starscream just barely getting up. "What the slag happened last night?" he asked the Seeker, who put his hands over his audios. "Stop yelling!" he said, causing Megatron to flinch at the sound. "I'm not the one yelling, you are!" Actually, they were speaking normally, but their audios were so sensitive…They caught the sound of footsteps coming from the entrance. Shift stared down at the now awake pair. "MORNING! Isn't it a great day?" She yelled at them, causing them to cry out and cover their audios again. "Hey, have either of you seen Voltgear?"

"I'm here…LOL, who turned out the lights?" The mech sat up from his place on the floor. The curtain had fallen on him while in recharge. Shift lifted it off him, causing him to hiss. "Gah! Turn off the light!" He grabbed at the curtain, which Shift pulled away from him.

-

_After much rest and wake up calls from Shift, Turret, and Quakeshot…_

Starscream, Megatron and Voltgear were listening to Barricade and Frenzy, who surprisingly had woken up without hangovers, explain what had happened the night before.

Starscream's expression was indeed priceless.

-

"Frenzy, please show Starscream all the stinkin' fan mail we've been getting." Frenzy pulled in two huge bags filled with envelopes. "That's just the HUMAN mail we've been getting." The black and white mech said, enjoying their expressions. "We've been getting e-mails since one in the morning, according to Frenzy."

-

Sunny and Sides were laughing their afts off.

They had been re-watching and editing the video they had obtained last night. They had posted the video under their screen name, 'Lamboproductions' and saying it was popular was an understatement.

"One MILLION hits, Sunny!" yelled Sideswipe gleefully.

-

Starscream was among the many watching the video.

-

Megatron was having a hard time as well. Some jerk kept calling him and LAUGHING. Each time, he could hear the laughter at his expense. He'd actually ripped the phone from the wall.

-

Optimus had never had so much fun with a phone before. Laughing at his brother was even better.

-

Crappy ending, I know.

Also, if you want more dares, could you help me out? I need more ideas. DX


	4. Oh so HIGH!

Ok, here's the next chap for 'The Dare', in which the Autobots laugh it up at the Decepticons, Megatron is furious, and Frenzy plots away for revenge. Is Fate kind to him? You bet. He's got a plan, involving several lattes for him and spiked energon for the Autobots.

-

"This can't keep up!"

Starcream winced. Megatron had been yelling all day…no, week, about the injustice done to him by the Autobots. But it didn't add up. Optimus Prime wouldn't do this…Maybe those two Lamborghinis would have the guts to do this, but still, they'd have to have help inside…

Shift and Quakeshot.

Those two! He'd seen them, or at least Shift, being friendly with the Autobots! Storming off, he didn't notice Frenzy and Barricade holding several trays of what appeared to be Starbuck beverages.

-

Frenzy had indeed found heaven on Earth.

Befriending Chuck, who was formerly a hobo and now a janitor at a local Starbucks, he now had access to all the caffeinated beverages his spark desired.

"Yeeheeheehee!Isn'tthisgreat,'Cade?" The spaz bot was enjoying himself, surrounded by his drinks. Slapping his forehead, the black and white bot sighed. "Frenzy, what does this have to do with getting revenge on the Autobots?" "I'llshowyou,observe!" Holding up one of the less caffeinated drinks and a cube half full of energon, he poured the coffee into the cube. The pink energon changed to a poisonous green before changing back to its original pink. "Try!" he said, handing the cube to his partner.

'Cade looked at the drink, distrusting it. "Gogogoon!Try!" said Frenzy, motioning for him to drink.

Barricade did drink…and it started.

-

"AND STAY OUT!"

Starscream had literally been tossed out of the hanger the femmes called a home. He landed with his faceplates in the dirt.

"Slaggin' femmes." He muttered, dusting himself off, and a large, now broken Decepticon sized gun smashed into the back of his head. "I heard that, you stinkin' bastard!" snarled Shift.

Rubbing the back of his now dented helmet, he stalked away from the hanger…only to find himself in a rather awkward scene.

-

Barricade was laughing in a crazy manner, wearing a pink, frilly tutu and a tiara. The room had been stained green and blue and Frenzy was the same color as the walls.

"Hiiiiiiiii, Screamer!" giggled the mech, flat on the floor.

Starscream could only stare. "How hard did I hit my head?" he asked himself.

"HeyScreamer!" yelled Frenzy, who was now sitting on the Seeker's shoulder. "Likeit?" "Erm, actually, no."

"WanttoseetheAutobotslikethis?"

"…"A smile appeared on his faceplates. "You must be a genius, you crazy little hacker. So, how'd you do it?"

-

Hooo, boy. Frenzy IS a genius, don't you think? So, what do you think'll happen?


	5. Craziness

I've had the best idea for a finale, but you'll have to wait until later on. Anyway, in this chap, Frenzy contaminates the Autobots' energon supply, 'Hide finds ballet to be relaxing, Ratchet makes some new friends, Sunny and Sides are on Cops, and Megatron gets the last laugh.

Also, be mindful I know nothing of Transformers, so I see an energon dispenser like a water cooler. It makes things easier for me. Sorry to all the old fans who are wiser then me.

* * *

"Allreadyeveryone?"

"Starscream here."

"Megatron here."

"Quakeshot here. Frenzy, 'Cade still hasn't forgiven you about the incident earlier, so he told me to take his place."

"Sissy. Allrighty, ScreamertakesRatchet,MegatrontakesOptimus,andQuaketakesIronhide. Gotit? Good."

-

Frenzy looked around. Disabling the surveillance cameras had been easy. Finding the Autobots' hidden stash of High Grade was the hard part. Scanning the area, he checked on the three 3 liter bottle of espresso drink he'd made for the occasion.

He called it, 'Frenzy juice', because of what was in it. Six shots of everything containing caffeine Starbucks had, with a perfect mixture of EVERY highly caffeinated drink Starbucks had plus whipped cream and caramel.

Decaf? Never!

Laughter reached his audios. Apparently, the Autobots were drinking…This made him want to play the 'Mission Impossible' theme song. He did so in his head.

-

There was a large stack of cubes near the energon dispenser. Considering they were all quite drunk to start with, no one noticed the bot tip the contents of the bottles into the tank of energon. He snickered evilly. He had learned that caffeine had a strange effect on their race.

When mixed correctly with energon, coffee caused the subject became highly…well, let's just say it made them listen to stupid suggestions more often. Especially dares.

As the last of the coffee drained into the poisonous green liquid, he ducked out of sight as Ratchet came by for another round.

-

The Medic could have sworn the energon had turned green for a moment…no, just a trick of the light. Energon was pink, everybot knew that. Grabbing a few cubes, he filled them and took them back.

Frenzy looked on gleefully as the coffee took effect.

-

"PAMELA ANDERSON!"

"BRITNEY SPEARS!"

"PAMELA ANDERSON!"

**DING.**

**-**

Laughing, Sunny and Sides retreated to their 'corners'. That last cube of energon Ratchet had brought them had given them a strange surge of energy. Now they were arguing over which famous female they wound NEVER bee seen with. EVER.

Ratchet and 'Hide were giving them words of encouragement as Optimus rang the bell again. The twins went into a 'Put up your dukes' position as Frenzy watched on, laughing. Part one was going perfectly.

He would put part two into effect now.

-

"Heyheyhey! You guys know what would be fun?" Frenzy was controlling the speed of his voice. He'd practiced a bit before setting out on this mission.

"Who's talking?" Sunny asked, looking around.

"Bet it's your conscience, bro." replied Sides, smirking. "It finally caught up with you."

"Erm, no." said Frenzy, sweatdropping. "I'm…um, Mayhem! I'm a new Autobot! Yeah…"

"Welcome to the team, Mayhem!" boomed Optimus, crouching beside the bot. "Here's some advice: Stay away from a Decepticon named Frenzy. He's such a little-"

"Yeah, I'll remember that!" he cut the Autobot leader off quickly. "Anyway, you know what I was thinking?"

"Whut?" asked Ratchet, speech slurred.

"Lets play Extreme Dares!" said Frenzy, snickering. "Whoever can do their dare the best wins! You guys game?"

There were sounds of approval from the bots.

"Good! Now, gather 'round." Optimus, you-"

The bots leaned in closer, eager to hear what 'Mayhem' had to say.

-

"All units please report in. W have two suspects in red and yellow Lamborghinis, older models, heading towards the 5-15 east."

Barricade couldn't believe his audios. 'The little punk actually did it,' he thought as he sped off in his alt mode. No WAY he was missing this.

-

Starscream watched from above at the Medic below. Seems Ratchet had made friends with some humans. Drunk humans. Teenage drunk humans.

"Ah, Ratchet, you're a great guy. Too bad you're a car." Said one, patting his hood.

"Say, buddy, can you give us a lift to my house?" asked another. "Sure, Frank." He said, speech still a little slurred.

The Seeker snickered. This was turning out better then expected.

-

Quakeshot couldn't believe her optics.

Ironhide, one of the most trigger happy mechs in existence, was prancing around the Decepticon HQ wearing a tutu, saying in a sing song voice, 'I'm a ballerina!" over and over again, and, of all things, pirouetting. Shift, who had been babysitting Turret poked her head out to see the sight.

She'd never laughed so hard in her life.

-

"Road trip!" Optimus was now chugging off towards New York in his alt mode.

He was unaware he was being followed by his brother.

* * *

The aftermath shall come soon, peoples! Be patient! And where is Bee and Flood? They're off resting. 


	6. Aftermath and the Start

The aftermath, in which Optimus wakes up very confused in Kansas, Sunny and Sides find themselves in a junkyard, 'Hide got ambushed by the femmes, Ratchet is just fine, and Bee and Flood wonder where everyone went.

-

"Hey Dad, look at that truck!"

"Wow, that's so cool! Look at that giant robot!"

"You kids sure do have a healthy imagination."

-

As the minivan passed, Optimus groaned, waking up at long last. He'd forgotten he'd parked himself at the side of the road, and fallen asleep.

Why was his head hurting? And what was that sound? Wait…it was laughter.

He transformed, and saw Megatron. Pointing at him and laughing.

-

Megatron had never laughed so hard.

Revenge was a dish indeed best served cold. Especially if you got to point and laugh at the victim.

-

Ratchet awoke in a driveway somewhere in the suburbs, surprisingly sans the hangover.

Too bad he couldn't exactly remember how he got here. But he did remember something…

Oh yeah. He'd made some friends last night. And he was driving them and their dates to something called a dance tonight. Great.

-

"URGH. Gross…" Sunny looked at the rusted and filthy cars surrounding him. "Sides, where are we?!"

His twin, who was still in recharge, came awake…and yelled. He tried to transform…but he couldn't.

"WHAT THE SLAG!? Sunny, what's going on?! Wait, what's that thing on your tire?"

"I've seen it before…in that one movie, Cars, I think. It's a parking boot." Replied Sunny. "Now answer my question. WHERE THE SLAG ARE WE?!"

"Hmmmm…I think it's what humans call a junkyard. And apparently, parking boots can temporarily hinder our transformation abilities."

Silence.

"Nerd." Sneered Sunny.

-

"'Hide…'Hide, wake up."

The black mech unshuttered his optics, groaning in discomfort…and found himself staring at Turret, who was sitting on his chest armor. Quakeshot and Shift crouched behind her.

"Ah, good. You're up. We managed to get the tutu off of you AND washed off any paint Turret might have splashed on you, so I guess you owe us." Quakeshot said, snickering.

"Tutu, paint, what…?" Ironhide winced. "Do you really need to yell?"

"I'm not yelling. I'm barely whispering." Quakeshot said. "Looks like you had one too many cubes of High Grade, mate." Shift shook her head. "Frenzy must have put in a bit too much juice into your drink. You were going on for six hours. Straight."

The last few words Shift said did not register. All Ironhide had heard was 'Frenzy' and 'drink'.

That little freak was going to pay with his parts.

-

"Itsalmostdone. WheresScreamerwithhisvideo?"

Frenzy had opened an account on Youtube under the name 'DconHacker'. He was already editing the video images Quakeshot, Megatron, and Barricade had brought him. But Starscream hadn't returned yet to the appointed meeting place.

That SEEKER! He was delaying the whole project! "Cade,gofindthewhinybitchplease." He said, typing furiously.

-

Bee and Flood greeted a very irritable looking Ironhide and, surprisingly, Quakeshot back at the Autobot base.

"Hey 'Hide. I was wondering where you all went. Where's Optimus and the rest?" The Weapons specialist merely grunted in response, and Flood squeaked and clicked happily at his former guardian.

Bee looked distrustingly at Quakeshot, but 'Hide didn't seemed to mind her being here, so he shrugged it off.

-

One by one, the Autobots returned to base. The Twins first, both looking angrily at their tires, for some reason lost on Bee. Ratchet returned later at night, tired yet humming some song he'd heard from somewhere. Optimus returned last, splattered with mud and at four in the morning.

-

Starscream had finally returned. And with his video intact.

"One question, Frenzy: How long exactly have you been planning this?" Shift asked.

"Quitesometimewhy?"

-

_The next, NEXT morning…_

"ARGH!"

"What happened, Sunny!?" Sideswipe ran in, looking around. His optics rested on his seething twin.

"Look at this!" He showed him the computer screen, furious. Sideswipe watched in horror, as last night's events replayed on the screen.

"It was posted by someone called, 'DconHacker'. Any guesses who THAT little bastard is?"

Side nodded. "And so, the Prank Wars begin, eh, bro?" He said, turning to his brother.

"I though you'd never fulfill the prophecy that we made when we were but sparklings."

"I never thought an all prank war was possible."

-

"We'll need your help, guys." Sunny was speaking to Optimus, Bee, Ratchet, 'Hide and Flood, who were assembled outside to hear what the twins had to say.

"If we ever want to get back at Frenzy, we need you all to pitch in." Sideswipe said in a highly beseeching voice. "Are you with us?"

"I know I am!" snarled 'Hide. "That little scrap pile had me in a TUTU! He'll pay, oh, he'll pay!"

One by one, the Autobots agreed to help them. Soon it was official.

The Prank Wars had begun.


	7. autocons and Deceptibots

The Prank War begins, starting off with TP'ing the D'con HQ, The D'cons striking back with a prank of their own, and Shift having enough of this war already.

-

"ARGH!"

Frenzy tripped and took a nasty tumble around the Decpticon base.

He emerged after about fifteen minutes…covered in toilet paper. "WHODIDTHIS?!" he shrieked, attempting to pull the stuff off of him, but failing miserably.

Starscream, who was snickering at the Hacker's expense, suddenly found something white trailing from his right wing. "Toilet paper?"

-

Megatron was having a hissy fit.

He'd found large graffiti on the side of the HQ, clearly stating, 'Autobots rule, Deceptions sux!' and a smaller message under it: 'The Prank Wars have begun, Megatron! –Optimus'

-

"Uhuh. Uhuuuuuh. GH, this is a classic human prank, am I right?"

The thin mech nodded sagely. "Aye…I'm surprised the Auto-junk would stoop to something this…average. They're better then this, I know it."

Voltgear and GH were inspecting the damage done by the 'Auto-junks' and the evidence wasn't adding up. Until they saw the message.

"Prank Wars?" chimed the two together. "But…that's…It can't be! It just can't!"

"Can't be what, you idiots?" Shift had followed them to the site.

"Well…there was a prophecy made by a mech long ago, who went only by Jester, that a war would begin after the Great War had ended. Naturally, no one believed him, due to his love of pranks and his reputation as a liar, but now…" Voltgear shook his head. "He's said to have been what the humans called a patron saint of all pranksters ever created."

Shift snorted. "What rubbish. It's just a story to keep sparklings from becoming pranksters in the first place. Remember he was destroyed at the hands of some rather irate mechs because of his pranks. Everyone knows that."

"Tell that to the Twins and us. We were never informed of that." Grinning, he motioned to his friend. "Come along, GH. Let's give the Autobots a little message of our own." Both ran off, already discussing possible pranks to pull."

Shift had a bad feeling about this already.

-

_The next day…_

Sunny and Sides awoke feeling great. They had pulled off one of the most risky pranks ever. The added bonus was that all of the Autobots had helped. Even Floodlight.

As they rose from their recharge beds, they didn't notice anything different about each other…yet.

-

"HOLY SLAG! Sunny, you're pink!"

Sunny looked down…and his optics widened in horror. His brother wasn't lying. His armor was pink, pink and more pink. Looking at his brother, his horror turned to amusment.

"I'm not the only one, Sides. Look." He held up his bother's arm, showing his armor…which was also pink.

-

It seemed that the Twins weren't the only ones who were in pink today. Ironhide was swearing a fate worse then the Pit if he ever caught the ones responsible. Ratchet was looking puzzled at his new armor color, but didn't seem overly worried. Bee was in the fetal position, muttering about how his worst nightmare had come true, while a rose tinted Flood sat next to him, oblivious to the change.

Optimus had suffered the worst of it. Not only was his armor pink, but someone had painted red hearts on it and on his arms wrote in swirly cursive, 'Femme Magnet'. He had wisely chosen not to show himself for the rest of the day.

-

And so the Prank War raged on for about a month, before Shift and Ratchet snapped.

They knew something had to be done. A dare was what had started all this, so a dare was what would end it.

-

"You sick of this war?" Shift had met on Ratchet's terms. "I am as well."

"So it's agreed. We end this war the only way that doesn't involve rubber chickens crashing through our windows." Ratchet nodded.

They knew what they had to do.

-

_**Dear Deceptijerks,**_

_**The Autobots are willing to surrender and let you win the Prank War on one condition.**_

_**We dare you to be heroes for one week. If you can do this, you win the war. If not, we will launch the biggest prank we have.**_

_**The Autobots.**_

Megatron could hardly believe what he was reading.

-

_**Dear Autoslaggers,**_

_**The Decepticons are willing to surrender and allow you to win the Prank War on one condition.**_

_**We dare you to be villains for one week. If you can do this, you'll win the war. If not, we'll launch our biggest prank yet.**_

_**The Decepticons**_

Optimus' expression hardened. This was something he needed to inform the rest about.

-

So? Doya think they'll do it?


	8. A'cons and D'bots part 2

Things just got interesting. Will Screamer swallow his pride long enough for them to win the dare? Will Optimus break his life long code and harm other sentient beings? MAYBE.

* * *

"What do you say?"

"NO WAY. Optimus, what's gotten into you? We can't do this!"

"And who says he can't, 'Hide?" Sunny crossed his arms. "Personally, I'd rather swallow my freakin' pride and be remembered by pranksters to come. Sides is all for it! So is Bee! And-Where's Ratchet?"

"Doesn't matter. I won't do it." Ironhide said firmly. That meant his decision was final. NO EXCEPTIONS!

…Until today.

"Aw, cummo, 'Hide! You get to blow things up!" Bee said pleadingly.

"Blow things u-NO!"

The Twins exchanged an evil grin, before Sunny said in a convincing voice, "Yes, 'Hide. Blooooooow thiiiiiings uuuuuuuuuup…Doesn't that sound gooooood?"

"Yes…it does."

"Join the Dark Side, Ironhide. Joooooiiin ussss…"

-

"No."

"But-"

"NO. Quakeshot, for the last time, I WILL NOT STOOP TO THIS LEVEL. NEVER." Starscream said in a final sort of way.

"Come on, you pansy! Everyone is at least half willing but you! What's it going to take to get you to get off your damn HIGH HORSE and JOIN US!?"

"Must I really list the ways?"

"YOU'RE IMPOSSIBLE!" Punching him in the back of the head, she stalked off, muttering obscenities about ripping his wings off slowly and painfully.

Shift poked her head around the corner, as Quakeshot passed, still muttering. The grey and red femme frowned. If Starscream wasn't willing to go along with it, this war would never end. NEVER.

Time for some…leverage that only a femme could posess.

-

Later that night, (after 'convincing' Starscream to join the fun,) she met with Ratchet yet again to discuss when the 'event' would start.

"I say the day after tomorrow." Shift said. "Out of curiosity, how did your teammates take the letter I sent."

"Everyone was on board except Ironhide, who we had to convice a bit more. Told him he could blow things up."

Shift laughed, and replied, "Same here, except for Starscream. I had to 'convince' him to join." Ratchet looked disgusted and surprised at Shift, who frowned.

"NOT LIKE THAT. Primus, you have a dirty CPU…"

"So how'd you, 'convince' him?"

"Beat the tar out of him."

"Oh. So day after tomorrow then?"

"Uh, sure. I've got to get going, or the others'll get suspicious." Shift stalked into the darkness.

As soon as she was out of Ratchet's sight, she shuddered. That was…uncomfortable.

Oh well. She had to prepare for the week's coming events. No time to get distracted.

* * *

Yes, there was some RatchetxShift in there. (but only if you squint and look at it the right way. Oh, and stand on your head. XD) So, you'll have to wait until next time to see the Autocons and the Deceptibots. (I never get tired of saying their names. XD) 


	9. A'cons and D'bots part 3 XD

Alright, it's time for them to be flexible. Can the Autocons and Deceptibots handle their new roles? Let's see…

* * *

"CANNONBALL!"

"ARGH!"

-

The stunned Seeker was being sat on by the Twins. Shaking off the two, he snarled, "What's the big IDEA, you idiots!?"

"We're Autocons now, Seeker!" said Sunny, crossing his arms. "And we're bad guys! And since we've switched places…"

The Seeker sweatdropped at the two now grinning Lambos.

"Prepare to be tortured, Deceptibot!"

-

"YEEEEEEEEHAW!"

Ratchet had never felt so alive. Neither had Bee.

The Medic and the Spy were participating in a street race. For a Hummer, Ratchet wasn't bad. Bee had taught him how to drift, and he was getting good. He was leaving the other racers in his dust and the only one who could catch up with him was Bee, and even he was having a hard time keeping pace with the overenthusiastic Medic. "R-ratchet! Wait up!" cried the exhausted yellow spy. "ARE YOU CRAZY?! We should have done this a long time ago!"

The sound of sirens sounded from behind them. "Uh, Ratchet? Shouldn't we get out of here?" asked Bee nervously. Ratchet grinned inside. "Why? We've only just begun."

-

Optimus and Ironhide their own problems. Well, maybe just Optimus.

Ironhide, however…

BoomboomBOOMBOOMBOOM!

"Come on, Optimus. It's fun!" Optimus skulked slightly. He was no good at being a villain.

Of course, Ironhide was having a blast. Literally. He'd been destroying buildings since this morning. Mostly abandoned ones, but it was still good fun. For him, anyway.

Another BOOM and silence.

"Come ON, OPTIMUS. Try it! Just pretend they're all Deceptico-er, bots. It's easy!"

"When you put it that way…" BOOM.

"Alright, OPTIMUS!"

-

_Meanwhile…_

"Ok, HOW the SLAG are we going to be good guys?"

"Relax, Shift. It's easy…I guess." Quakeshot sat uneasily in a parking lot next to Shift and Barricade, who was clearly not listening. He was listening to a police report, saying something about a couple of street racers. "Well, I know how I'm going to be a hero. See you later." Engine roaring to life, he zoomed off, leaving Quakeshot and Shift alone and befuddled.

-

Starscream and Megatron were having the hardest time of them all.

How were THEY suppose to help stinkin' humans? They were jets, and well, the only place they could think of to help was…

"Flight 19, you are clear for takeoff."

Both had volunteered to act as security for some priceless artifact being shipped from America to Europe. Or something. It had taken some convincing, but they'd gotten the job. And, as an added bonus, they would be gone for the whole week. Seems like a piece of cake, right?

Nothing in life is every easy.

-

Simply put, Quakeshot and Shift were at wit's end.

They couldn't think of a THING to do that would help huma-

BOOM.

"What in the-?"

Both transforming, they spotted Optimus Prime and Ironhide. Destroying buildings. Humans fled as debris fell like rain. Looking at each other, they grinned.

They knew what they were doing to help humans.

* * *

Ok, so far they're surviving. But only just. How long do you think they'll last?

Also, sorry the chapters are so short. I'm on a time limit and stuff. Hard, I know, but I deal with it. Plus, it leaves you guys wanting more. Now, time for reviews?

QS: I'd say so. Need help again?

Me: I'll get VG or GH to do it. You just keep kicking 'Hide's aft.

GH: -zzzzzzzsnort- What? Did I miss something?

Me: GH, VG, get your afts over here. I need help doing reviews.

Both: -grumblegrumble- Fine.

OptimusxElita4ever: Yes, you may. XD But don't tell VG or GH. They're jealous. And a Star Wars Marathon sounds good.

Yami-Yugi3 and maccus lover: Four words: Glad you like it.

Kirmon64: LMAO, mate. But I'm sure everyone made that assumption. You just admitted it, that's all. –pats your head-

PR0JECT VIRUS: Yesh, it shall be interesting. Keep looking. Megatron and Starscream are in for a rude awakening if they think their jobs are easy. XD

Jillian Jiggs: Yes, and in an odd coincidence, the Twins ordered light sabers on Ebay yesterday. Odd, indeed. Sorry the chaps are short. The explanation is above.


	10. A'cons and D'bots part 4

Ok, so that was day 1 last chapter. Let's see day 2, shall we? WARNING: SHIFTXRATCHET. KEEP ON YUR TOES. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Also, sorry it's so late.

-

Day 2

"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE, COPPERS!"

With a laugh that could be only described as insane, Ratchet sped off, leaving the police cars in his dust.

Except one.

-

Barricade was on Ratchet's tail the entire way, as the crazed Medic swerved through town, with so many near misses that the black and white mech had lost count. Luckily, he had Frenzy with him, so, using the satellite system he hacked into, he was able to keep an eye on the Medic's movements.

However, it wasn't all lollipops and rainbows when they caught up with him.

Frenzy's favorite drink from Starbucks had spilled all over Barricade's interior after that last swerve. Caramel dripped from his windows and whipped cream was splattered all over the seats.

The worst of it all was that Frenzy never even got to drink any of it.

Both were forces to be reckoned with at the point.

_-_

_Later…_

"This sucks…" muttered Barricade, dragging Ratchet's unconscious form into the Deceptibot base. "I can't see this day getting any better. A full clean out and being a goody goody for the rest of the day…"

"Well…Iiit can." Frenzy replied, smiling.

"Prey tell, oh caffeinated one."

"We got cablecablecable now."

"So?"

" Did I mention it waswaswas Cccybertronian cable?"

"…" Barricade grinned. "How soon can you have it up?"

-

"JUST LIKE THAT SLAGGER TO LEAVE ME WITH A PRISONER. HONESTLY!"

Shift was growling dire threats towards both Frenzy and Barricade as she looked at the still form of Ratchet, still out cold. She nudged him with a foot, snarling, "Oi! Wake up, you. Come on now, get your aft of the floor." The Medic was groaning, clutching his head. "Wha? Oh, it's just you." He mumbled, rubbing the back of his head. "So he got me, huh?"

"Apparently."

"So what now?" asked the still dazed Medic.

"That depends. Gimmie a sec. I wanna make sure he didn't give you a concussion or something." Examining the back of his head armor for a short while, she gave him a clean bill of health.

"Now what?"

"You get the slag out of my room, that's what. Unless you'd like to stay and play Racquetball with Frenzy and I. Frenzy being the ball, of course." Shift smiled pleasantly.

"Erm, actually, I have to get going. Optimus might be worried." Replied the Medic, standing up. "You're planning on just letting me walk out of here…with no fight or anything?"

"Yes."

"You sure?"

"Very. Just remember this." She gave him one of the fastest hugs Ratchet had ever seen before he felt her foot make contact with his aft, shoving him out the door.

-

"I haven't seen this movie in vorns!"

Barricade and Frenzy were enjoying themselves as they sat in front of a huge plasma screen tv, watching one of their favorite movies, 'Random Destruction 2'.

Neither of them noticed Ratchet sneaking behind them or transforming and pealing out of there.

-

Sorry, very busy. Short Author's Notes this time.


	11. PONCHO TIME!

And now, I'd like to direct your attention to Sideswipe and Sunstreaker, as they have an important announcement.

Twins: IT'S PONCHO TIME!!!1

Me: STOP YELLING. My head's killing me…

* * *

The days had flown by…It seemed only a few hours ago that the Autocons had TP'd the Deceptibot's HQ…

-

Shift and Ratchet were meeting yet again, this time to discuss what would happen if the Autocons and Deceptibots asked about surrendering the Prank War.

"What happens if they find out?" asked Shift, slightly worried.

"We act like we have no idea what's going on. And for Primus' sake, don't start laughing!" Ratchet snapped. "I think that's really all I need to say. I'll see you later."

"Ratchet, wait a sec, will you?"

The Medic turned to the femme. "Yes?"

"Have any of your teammates found out about…us or our plot?" she asked quietly.

"No. Don't worry." He nodded then left.

-

"Sunny, where's your brother?" Optimus asked.

"He's probably cooking up an idea to end this week with a bang. He's coming in at three…two…one…"

Sideswipe dashed in, dragging in tarps and what looked like Transformer sized Super Soakers. "Optimus, catch!" he tossed the mech a squirt gun, then dashed to his brother. "Give these to Hide, Ratch and Bee. Sunny, help me sew these together. JUST GO!"

"See?" Sunny was being shoved by his brother towards their bunk.

-

Starscream and Megatron had returned from Italy, the place the delivery was being made. All in all, it was actually pretty fun.

Considering people kept taking their pictures…Tourists, honestly.

"This would have never happened if we went to Japan." Grumbled Starscream. "Starscream, do us all a favor and shut up." Megatron snapped. He rubbed his head. His chatter was killing his receptors…

"ARGH!"

He turned to tell Starscream to shut up…and was blasted with water. Shaking some of it off, he looked angrily to see…the Autocons. Optimus, Ratchet, Ironhide and that brat Bumblebee were armed with guns…that shot water.

"HEY MEGADORK AND SCREAMER! You know what you need to keep dry?"

They both looked up and saw the twins, each holding something that looked like a bunch of tarps sewn together.

"A PONCHO!"

-

Quakeshot and Shift were relaxing, sipping from cubes of energon, when the strangest parade passed by their door.

Megatron and Starscream were fleeing from the Autocons, who were chasing and blasting them with water guns, while the Twins ran behind them, holding their bundles up like flags, chanting the following:

_Poncho, Poncho, Put on the poncho!_

_You know you want to! Yes you do!_

_Everyone's wearing ponchos too!"_

_-_

Shift looked out the door, watching them chase her superiors around the base. "Should we stop them?" she asked Quakeshot.

"Naw. Let them have their fun."

* * *

Ok, so this chap is short. I KNOW. I have to focus on the other story thanks. I promise the finale will be longer than this. 


End file.
